


Dean's Mistake

by Deansimpallagrl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Cheating, M/M, Makeup Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-03 18:15:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13346778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deansimpallagrl/pseuds/Deansimpallagrl
Summary: Dean was adrift in his world. Sam and he are not getting along.  He turns to someone and makes a mistake.  Can he be forgiven? Can their relationship ever be the same?





	1. Benny

**Author's Note:**

  * For [amusawale](https://archiveofourown.org/users/amusawale/gifts).



> Another prompt I received. Enjoy Thank you again WaywardNana for editing!!

After walking out of the Guidry’s Cajan Café into the night Dean is not sure where to go from here. He knows what Benny Lafitte had to do and what Sam is going think of all this. Sam is already in Texas he is sure from the fake text he sent about Amelia. Sam has been angry with him before and it blows over but this time he is not so sure. Dean feels so alone. His only constant is Benny’s friendship. He knows he chose the vampire over his brother for this case. That is hard enough, but he has another choice he is thinking of making that he knows he shouldn’t at all. After helping Elizabeth get cleaned up and headed home he calls Benny.  
“Hey man I saw what happened. I know you had to do it. I need to talk to you in person can we meet up?”   
“Of course, brother. I am at the Cajun Inn off highway 90 about an hour out of Carencro. Room 121.”  
“Thanks, see you soon.”

After he gets in the impala to head Benny’s way he gets a call from Sam.   
“So you used a fake number for Amelia to send me a text.”  
“I needed you out of the way and that was the quickest way to do it.”  
“Why couldn’t you just talk to me?”  
“Because you and Martin were on a witch hunt and I knew he was innocent.”  
“So how did it come out?”  
“Same as I expected.”  
“What about Martin?”  
“He didn’t make it.”  
“I can’t believe this.”  
“He gave Benny no choice.”  
Sam hangs up on Dean. He is so angry because not only was he worried for Amelia, but his brother did not trust him enough to actually talk to him. He chose Benny over him. He doesn’t understand how the connection was made between his brother and this vampire, but the bond is strong. Is it stronger than their bond? What will Dean do if he has to kill Benny? As he gets up to leave the bar he runs into Amelia. He is shocked to see her he thought he had been stealthy. She leaves quickly after confirming it was him. He goes to find the old motel they stayed at before to think. Dean is far away and that is fine with him for now.   
Sam is angry with him for sending him to Amelia, but Dean knows he would have killed Benny. He couldn’t take the risk with such a good friend that needed his help. Sam of course would not listen to Benny’s side of the story. He hung up on Dean and that makes him feel alone and adrift. The person he loves more than anything else in this world is mad and won’t even listen to him. The fact that he found Amelia after Dean was sent to Purgatory could be understood as he was alone. Since Dean has been back though he hasn’t felt like Sam feels the same anymore. Sam seems to be caught in between the world he lived for a year and being with his brother again. By the time he gets to where Benny is his mind is made up and while he is ashamed he is going to do this. So, when the door opens to his knock he smiles his Dean sexy smile and steps through the door.  
“Hey Benny, I have meant to talk to you about something for a while.” He sits on the bed and puts his head in his hands.  
“Of course, Dean I am here if you need me.” Benny sits opposite him and waits.  
“I don’t think I told you about me and Sam before.”  
“You mean how you are brothers?”  
“No, we have been more than that for some time now. Why do you think I was so desperate to get back here?”  
“Wow, I really didn’t know that. I am not judging here but isn’t incest still a bad thing in the human world?”  
“Yes, it is. We have shared a bond since childhood that is so much deeper than normal people. I saved him from a house fire that killed our mother. I have always felt I needed to protect him and other than him going to college we were always together. It wasn’t until I got him out of college that I realized I couldn’t keep my true feelings from him. It turns out he was of the same mind and had been for a while. He tried to be normal for college but in the end when his then girlfriend died like out mother he decided that we should be together. So, from then on, we have shared a bed and saved one another from a million different bad things. Even if I did give myself to another girl while he was gone when he came back I was his again. This time when I came back he had a year of being in this new world of normal. He wasn’t so quick to fall back again to our old ways. He did, don’t get me wrong he loves me. He just didn’t realize how much he loved her still. So, this whole incident has made me think maybe I am losing him. He is so resistant to being back in the hunting life and with me that I am lost.” Benny has moved over to sit next to Dean. In Benny’s heart he is so happy to hear this. He knew Dean was in love with someone but now maybe Benny had a chance.  
“I hear you. It can be hard after being apart to get back to old ways. Trust me being back is very difficult for me. I want you to know I am here for you in any way you need.” His heart is pounding as he waits. Dean looks up and reads his eyes for a minute.  
He leans over and kisses Benny softly testing the waters. Benny gives that kiss back with a hunger he has been holding back for a long time. The heat of the kiss is searing. Dean feels the barely controlled hunger from Benny. He deepens the kiss and as their tongues wrestle together Benny is trying to undress Dean. He pushes him back to get his shirt off. He lets him explore down his chest. The longer this goes on the more uncomfortable Dean is getting. Benny is eager, and he kneels in front of him. Dean pulls down his pants and underwear. He lets him take his semi hard cock in his mouth. The sight of Benny where Sam should be is holding him back. Once Benny starts sucking him he gets harder and closes his eyes. Dean’s mind is whirling in confusion and he doesn’t know what to do. His cock is responding but his heart is not there. He moans a little trying to be encouraging. He must use images of Sam below him begging him for more to keep himself hard. He can’t look at the man trying to pleasure him. He just wants this to be over with. Benny has his own cock out and is stroking it. He is so wrapped up in sucking and jerking off he doesn’t notice Dean is not responding. Benny manages to cum and moans on Dean’s cock which causes him to warn Benny,  
“Gonna cum….” Benny sits back as it happens, and it gets on his hand and arm. He sighs and looks at Dean’s face then gets up and goes for the bathroom to wash up.  
Dean tucks himself back in his pants and doesn’t know what to do. Dean is buried in self-loathing and guilt. The fact that he let this happen, and went to Benny is worse. He doesn’t hear Benny come back until he tilts his chin up.  
“Brother, I think this was a mistake and you and I both know this. I may have a love for you, but you are all your brothers. I understand you two have a very unbreakable bond. I am sorry for taking you up on what was not really an offer. I am still your friend but if you want my advice. Don’t tell Sam. Let him come back to you on his own from his anger don’t make it worse.” Patting him on the back Benny helps Dean up and walks him to the door.  
“I am sorry I ever came. I am your friend too, but you need to get far away from here. I don’t know if I can keep this from Sam. Once he finds out he will come after you. I hope he never finds you.”  
They hug again and then Dean is off into the night heading for Texas. As he drives he is trying to figure out how he is going to tell Sam. Sam has been so angry, and he doesn’t want to put anything else on his plate to make him angrier. Maybe he can hold off on telling him for a while. Benny might be right maybe never. The long hours stretch out before him and he pushes his car because what he really wants is to see Sam.


	2. Fighting

He took a motel room in the place they had stayed long ago. Confused and unsure of what to do next there is a knock at the door. He is angry to see Dean again making him think of Martin. He can’t forget the panic of thinking Amelia was hurt.  
“What do you want?”  
“Nice to see you too Sam.”  
“You didn’t have to come to Texas Dean we said all we had to say already.”  
“If you didn’t hang up on me I wouldn’t have.”  
“I heard everything I needed to hear thanks.”  
“Benny was only acting in self-defense. There was a time when that meant something.”  
“I don’t really care about Benny. Don’t you get what is really going on?”  
“What about Amelia?”  
“Yes, I was scared the woman I love was hurt like Jessica like other people we love.”  
“Wait, you love her? I thought it was me you loved?”   
“You know I do Dean, but this was different you were not around, and I fell in love again. You had Lisa you know.”  
“I do know, and I understand but as soon as you were back I was there even if you were soulless.”  
“I know that, and I also know that you loved her and Ben all the way until you had their memories wiped. If that hadn’t happened, you would still be sniffing around.”  
“Ok that is it I think we have talked about our lost loves enough. What do we do now Sam?”  
“Right now, we are going separate ways. I can’t be around you right now.”

Sam paces the motel room angry and alone. This was going down hill fast. He was near to Amelia and while it was nice it was also pain. He did love her but now with all that happened and meeting Benny he is thinking more of Dean. He and his brother have been close and shared everything for a great majority of their lives. Dean is home to him. His safety net. Now that is falling away because of Amelia and Benny. How could this get any worse.

After Dean walks out he is angry, but he is also sad. He did something inexcusable. He used Sam’s love to get him away from a friend. Then he had to go and cheat. Now he knows what Sam is really angry about and it hurts. He didn’t think that he was still in love with Amelia. He thought once he took off once he was back it would just go away. He should have known better. Now he had another secret from his brother. How long will he be able to keep it? He heads off to Rufus’s cabin to try and get his head clear and wait to see what Sam will do.   
When he talks to Benny again he reminds him that they need to be apart. They need to be done for now because He wants to commit to Sam and leave their problem behind him. Benny agrees, and they part company for a long time. Sam had come back after they managed to get Samandriel and the talk they had makes him know that Sam also wants to be back just with Dean and that is a relief. So, as they were in the cabin together Dean hoped to keep his secret to keep the peace for now. 

All his peace keeping changed when they found out that they can close the gates of hell forever. There were trials and he knew he could get it done. His sacrifice for Sam might even help him feel like he made up for his sins. However, all that changed when Sam managed to complete the first trial. Now Dean is scared he will lose him. He is ok to throw away his own life but losing his love again would break him. He still kept the secret because, so much was happening, and he pushed all the emotions down like he does often. So, when it comes up that there was a love triangle in one of their cases he feels the guilt more. He waits until they are headed back to the bunker to talk to Sam. In the car Sam can’t get out and he will get to say all he thinks he needs to.   
“Sam, I really need to talk to you.”  
“Ok what about?”  
“Well I know you are sick from the first trial and I wanted to get something off my chest. Please hear me out. When Benny killed Martin before I came to Texas I went to talk to him. The talking turned into something else. We kissed, and I let him give me a blow job. I cheated, and I am sorry. I have no excuse, but I thought you were going back to Amelia. I am sorry.” He focuses on the road but can feel the anger coming off Sam. He peeks a look and sees the hurt and pain.  
“How could you?! I don’t understand. I thought Benny just helped you survive purgatory. When did you get a thing for him?”  
“I don’t have a thing for him I just was hurt and confused, and I went to him. I did tell him about us.”  
“Wow, I can’t believe you. I left Amelia for you and I thought since you stopped talking to Benny we were agreed. You make me sick Dean.”  
“These trials are important, and I didn’t want to stress you but if I don’t tell you before something goes wrong then I could never apologize.”  
“You need to stop talking to me for the rest of the ride. I can’t even look at you.” Sam stares out the window and cries. The pain in his heart is huge. The one person who has always cared for him and he thought loved him just put a knife in it. He had been so broken when Dean was gone. He had no one to talk to. He didn’t have Bobby to fall back on or Kevin even. Cas of course was also gone so he really was alone. When he left the Sucrocorp headquarters he was aimless. He drove and tried to think about what he wanted to do not what he was expected to do. That is how when he hit the dog and met Amelia he felt like maybe he was on a track again. He fell into comfortable routines and felt love for Amelia. He never stopped to think about Dean ever coming back. He was so shocked when Dean returned that his brain had a hard time processing what to do next. He had already made the decision to leave Amelia to her husband. So that part wasn’t so bad. However, with the whole Kevin missing thing making him guilty he didn’t have time to try and get back with Dean. They were on each other’s nerves and it was a struggle. Through all that though it never occurred to Sam that Dean would ever cheat on him. He knew they were not having an easy time but, how could he? They had always been a team. When Sam was in hell and Dean had Lisa once he came back they came back together. He understood when he was gone and soulless that it was different. This was him going to someone else when Sam was around. Yes, they were having a fight, but it was also him choosing Benny over his own brother. Sam was really hurt and not sure what to do. He knows it will be a long time before he might be able to forgive. He is not even sure he can anymore. His heart is shattering, and he feels alone again.


	3. Sacrifice

When they got to the bunker Sam storms off and Dean is left to drink himself stupid. Dean’s bender lasts for about a week. He is useless, and Sam is now angrier that he has medicated himself away from this situation. He hasn’t tried to talk to Sam or even apologize again. Sam is in pain, but some part knows if he doesn’t talk to Dean that one of them is going to explode. Finally, Sam confronts Dean before he can get blind drunk again.  
“Dean, you really need to stop drinking or you are going to die.”  
“That is what I was aiming for Sammy.” Dean is kind of joking and kind of not. He is so lost without his anchor of Sam that he does the only thing he knows well.  
“Look Dean I am still disappointed and angry, but we can’t live like this. I think Kevin might be close to finding the second trial. In the end closing the gates of hell will have to be more important than our personal issues. Can you suck it up and get sober for me please?!” Sam is angry he must talk to Dean let alone ask him to be sober.  
“No one is forgetting or forgiving but sometimes you have to stow your crap!” Dean sobers up after a day and they finally get back to hunting.  
Sam is glad that Dean listened and sobered up. He was feeling so alone going through this pain while Dean is mentally not there. Dean has done this before to deal with his pain. It is so destructive to their relationship. While Dean is checked out Sam has no choice but to deal with everything. It makes Sam so sad that he doesn’t have a partner to talk to. Going out on cases is especially hard. Even if he is mad at Dean he has to pretend he isn’t, so they can get the job done. He feels so much pain every time he thinks about Benny touching Dean. Benny was not only a vampire but also shared a bond with Dean he can’t even touch. They shared a foxhole experience that brought them together in a way Sam knows all too well having been there with Dean before. He does his best to let time dampen the pain, but he can’t imagine how this is going to resolve itself.  
They both do a good job of covering it while out on cases but at the bunker they are still not speaking much. So much is happening to keep them busy that they just go on until they hear about the second trial.  
They are both stunned to learn it means a trip to hell. A place that both of them like to forget about. Dean is frantic that Sam will not get this trial done and what will he do if he loses him again? There are too many parts to getting the soul out of Hell without capture. Once they figure out how to do it they have a serious talk.  
“Ok Sam so you know how I had to get Benny’s soul out of Purgatory. I will show you the words and how you have to cut your arm to get it done. The hard part is getting out of hell at all.”  
“I am worried about that too. I have no idea how that will work so we really need to talk. I need to tell you how I feel if I never get the chance to again. I still love you deeply Dean. That doesn’t have anything to do with forgiving you for what you did. I just want you to know that even though I am still very angry that I do love you.”  
“I am so glad to hear that. I have been worrying for a long time that you had given up on loving me. I know it is not easy, but our lives have never been easy. I know I don’t deserve forgiveness. I have done nothing to make it up to you. It is killing me that we are not sleeping together anymore. I feel like I am not myself without you. Do you know a way for me to show you I am sorry? I am sorry so very sorry. I have always loved you. I made a huge mistake.”  
“Look Dean I don’t want to re-hash this out. I really can’t think of anything that would make up for this. I am not even sure if we can ever get past this. I just wanted you to hear from me that no matter what happens that my love is there.” Sam walks away to cry yet again. Just thinking about what Dean did is crushing him again. He knows that he must pull it together because tomorrow they go to see Ajay. Then he will be in hell.  
Dean watches Sam go off with the taxi driver and heads off for a much-needed drink and rest before he hopes he gets to see Sam again. He keeps trying to think of how to make this up to Sam. How can he ever show him how much he means and that no one will be more important ever? The answer won’t come no matter how he beats himself up or drinks.  
The next day he goes back to see if Ajay is back and finds him dead in his Taxi. He begins to panic. If Sam has to be picked up in Purgatory, then how will he get him? Then it hits him, and he falls to his knees. He has to ask the unthinkable of Benny. He has to make the call. Sam is the love of his life and his soul mate.  
“Hey, I have a favor to ask. It is a big one. It is also time sensitive I need you here ASAP.”  
“Of course, brother I will be there as quickly as I can.”  
As Dean waits he is struggling. He must ask this of his friend, this may be his one way to get Sam back as well. This sacrifice is not just about saving Sam but also about choosing him over anyone else. When Benny arrives, Dean asks with tears in his eyes.  
“I need to send you to Purgatory to save Sam.”  
“Wow, when you ask for a favor you mean it. I don’t think he will trust me. How do I get him to the portal if he just kills me immediately?”  
“I am pretty sure that if you help him fight the creatures down there he will learn more about who you are. Just help him like you did me and I think you will get him there. The only thing is DON’T mention our little affair. He might freak out and all bets are off.”  
“Well I will do this Dean because I am not doing well here. This world is not a good fit for me. I am sorry I caused you two troubles. I never meant for it to happen, but it made me realize that you two are meant for each other. I will be honored to help you.”  
“Thank you! I wish this didn’t have to happen.”  
“I know but get on with it ok?!” Dean nods and a tear runs down his face as he takes Benny’s head off with one quick slice. He gets Benny’s remains in his trunk and takes off to the 100mile woods to pick up Sam. He hopes that it goes well.  
Sam realizes that not only is Ajay missing but he doesn’t know how they will get out. He is angry and worried. How can he get back to Dean? He wants to get the trials over, but he also loves Dean. He doesn’t have long to worry about it. They are getting attacked by some vampires. As Sam looks for a weapon Benny jumps out and kills the attackers. Sam is very surprised.  
“What are you doing here?!”  
“Well chief your brother sent me. He wants me to get you two out of here.”  
“Who is this?” Bobby is surprised Sam is talking to a fang instead of killing him.  
“This is Benny and Dean trusts him.”  
“Not my Dean.” Bobby is angry and trying to get to Benny.  
“Bobby, he saved us, and he is the only one that knows where the human portal is. We need him.”  
Bobby is not happy nor is Sam, but it is true if he wants to see Dean again he must follow Benny. They walk and fight their way to near the portal. Sam is impressed with Benny’s skills, but he is still angry about what he and Dean had. After Sam gets Bobby’s soul in his arm and asks for Benny to give his soul to Sam. Benny says no.  
“I was not a good fit up there. Here I can go on and not interfere in your lives. If I was still in the world with you no matter what you would always imagine your brother chasing after me. I know you don’t like me and that is fine, but you need to know that Dean never really wanted me he just missed you and was lost. I hope you guys succeed in shutting the gates. Good Luck Brother and tell Dean goodbye.”  
“Benny, I won’t forgive but I can appreciate that you did this for us. Goodbye.”  
As Sam heads through the portal he is thinking about his brother and what might be. When he comes out and sees Dean he is relieved. He needs to let Bobby go, and he hopes that he will rest finally. However, when Crowley shows up it is another bump in their road. The angels manage to help for once and finally Bobby is at peace. As they head back after the words for the trial are said they must talk.  
“I understand why Benny wouldn’t want to come back. He was having a lot of trouble keeping himself clean. I just hope he is happier.” Dean is so sad and worried about Sam and how this trial made him look even worse.  
“Dean, I get now why you trusted Benny. He was true to his word and never tried to harm us. He took us to the portal and I am grateful I got back to see you again. I know it must have been so hard to have to kill him just to save me. I know that it hurt when you had to kill him. I am not even sure if I could have done that. I am not saying I forgive because I am not sure I can ever do that. I am saying that you paid quite a price for saving me. You proved with your actions that you love me, and I am the most important person. That is special to me. I think it is a way for us to work towards trust again.” Sam reaches out and touches Dean’s hand.  
“I know I don’t deserve even this, but I am so glad to hear you say that. You know that Benny besides saving my ass was only a poor substitute for my amazing little brother. I will go through whatever you want me to. Call them trials for Sam’s heart if you want but tell me what I can do to show you again how much you mean to me.”  
“Let us start with you promising me no more drunken binges for a while. I want to make sure I am dealing with a sober brother. I need your head in the game because there might come a time soon I want you in my bed.” The heat in Sam’s eyes spoke of sooner rather than later but it was hope for Dean.  
The next week went by with Dean going through every type of showing affection he could think of. He made Sam his favorite foods. He let Sam drive his baby. He let Sam choose the music in the car. Sam was amused by this behavior. He liked being pampered but was already more than halfway to letting Dean show him in the best way possible. Just one last test he had to give.  
“Hey Dean do you remember the case we worked about the pure blood werewolves a little while back?”  
“Yeah Sam why?  
“Oh, nothing except you were completely wrong. Remember you thought it was another Mayan God?”  
“I am not sure I remember that part. I know those kids recorded it, so I must have said it. I don’t know Sam I guess I might have been wrong.”  
Sam looks at him with wide eyes and then a very evil smile.  
“You are finally ready. I never thought I would hear that you admitted you were wrong about something. I think it might be bed time.” Sam’s eyes are burning with lust.  
Dean goes in for a hot kiss immediately, so he doesn’t change his mind. Sam moans into the kiss because this is what he was missing for way too long. This is what he always desires. They are never stronger then when they are together and sometimes they both forget that. They get themselves to their shared room as fast as flying clothes and shuffling feet will take them. They are naked by the time Dean backs Sam up to the bed and kisses him as he lays him out on the bed.  
“This is my favorite way to love you Sam. I can’t always put it into words, but I can show you.”  
He reverently kisses his way down his little brother’s neck. Sucking and licking slowly and passionately. He takes time to kiss and lick each nipple to a stiff point and tease moans and whispers from Sam. By the time Dean has made it to the bobbing cock he looks up into tear filled eyes that are lust blown. Sam reaches down with a hand and caresses Dean’s hair as he envelops his cock in the heat of his mouth. Torturously slow he bobs and turns and suctions making him crazy. Sam’s hands flutter like birds that don’t know where to land.  
“I need you inside me Dean.”  
He smiles and kisses Sam deeply before reaching for the lube. He is very eager to be with Sam, so he continues to kiss as his lubed fingers do the work of opening Sam up.  
“Hurry…. need you!” Sam is breathless as he is almost ready.  
“I got you.” He lines up his lubed cock to Sam’s eager hole and slides in one steady motion until he bottoms out. Holding still for a bit to let him adjust he takes in the beauty of his little brother falling apart with need. Then he begins rolling his hips and it is pure joy for them both. They never feel more complete than when they are together as one.  
“I missed you so much.” Dean whispers as he closes his eyes and concentrates on hitting his brother’s prostate with each stroke. The way Sam’s walls flutter around his cock he knows soon he will be cuming.  
“I love you Sammy” As those words are spoken Sam locks up and screams his brother’s name as he cums untouched on his belly and nearly passes out. Dean follows him over the edge seconds later. They are both laying together on the bed catching their breath.  
“Dean, that was beautiful.”  
“I hope this helped show how much I love you.”  
“I know you do, but I love it when you show me.”  
Sam is happy and sated, but he knows that more trouble is to come their way. The end of the trials is looming and he is worried.


End file.
